The men of Duck Dynasty were wrapping up an unsuccessful fishing trip when family friend Justin Martin made a stunning announcement: He was planning on skipping the weekly Friday night poker game with the boys.
“I may or may not have a date tonight,” said Martin – who is known to viewers by only his surname.
Martin was nervous, so the Robertsons stepped in to help him make the date as successful as possible.
“I’ve known you for 10 years,” Jase Robertson told Martin as he fidgeted with a duck call.
“This is the first time I heard a woman come up.”
The wives, Korie and Missy, gave him a mini-makeover, and Uncle Si gave him a crash-course in etiquette.
Making it even more awkward, Si Robertson pretended to be the woman of Martin’s affections. “Hello Martin, my name is Tiffany,” he said, swinging a feather boa over his shoulder.
“Even when you’re eating, don’t let the conversation die,” Si Robertson advised him.
In a confessional later, Si Robertson dropped great suggestions of lines that women love, like “Can I have directions … to your heart?”.
Korie Robertson decided that Justin Martin’s wardrobe needed a bit of a makeover: “Let’s face it, he dresses like a seventh grader who hasn’t yet discovered deodorant.”
Korie and Missy Robertson ordered Justin Martin back to his wood-paneled, taxidermy-filled home to try and find an outfit that did not involve trucker hats or camouflage.
Willie Robertson, who had never been inside Justin Martin’s house, described his decorating style as “a mix between the Brady Bunch and that killer from <<Silence of the Lambs>>.”
While Martin was busy trying on various outfits for Korie and Missy, Willie and Jase snooped around their friend’s house.
“This is not normal,” said Jase Robertson, pointing out a large pile of mismatched socks.
“I think there’s something wrong with his feet.”
“Maybe they’re webbed,” Willie Robertson opined from the comfort of Martin’s leather recliner.
Picking up one of many framed photos of Justin Martin scattered throughout the house, Willie Robertson noted: “No adult male should have this many pictures of themselves.”
“All I’m seeing is huge piles of dirty socks and embarrassing photographs,” added Jase Robertson.
“It’s a bit creepy and weird.”
Perhaps it was for the best when Justin Martin told them the day after the date that he took absolutely none of their advice. He was just himself. And that was good enough, as he scored himself a second date with Brittany Brugman. He tweeted: “That was pre first date with @BrittanyBrugman. We’ve been together a while now so I guess I did something right.”
Justin Martin can only hope his second date goes as well as the season premiere of Duck Dynasty last week.
With 11.8 million viewers, Duck Dynasty became the most-watched nonfiction series in cable history.
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