Kris Jenner show: Fake baby North West and Kim Kardashian’s dramatic hospital dash

Although Kim Kardashian and Kanye West decided against debuting daughter North on the first episode of Kris Jenner’s TV show on Monday, this didn’t stop the matriarch from using the baby for ratings.

Knowing that speculation was rife that baby North West would make her first public appearance on Monday’s Fox premiere, Kris Jenner tweeted a picture of her cradling a dark-haired baby just minutes before the show started.

“You never know who will stop by our show today #watch Kris,” she wrote.

And it wasn’t until the very end of her first hour that Kris Jenner appeared with the precious tot only to hand the infant over to its mother… her stylist Monica.

The ruse finally uncovered, Kris Jenner said she wouldn’t “kidnap” Kim’s baby and insisted her daughter would be revealing the month-old in due time.

But the baby North effect had been fully exploited for promotional purposes, without her even leaving her home.

This wasn’t the only family heartstring that Kris Jenner pulled at during the show: “I promised I wouldn’t cry,” she spluttered as her daughter Khloe Kardashian shouted support from audience just seconds into the premiere.

“Thank you Khloe, you get a raise in your allowance now,” Kris Jenner – who was dressed in a favorite black and white combination – yelled back.

But then it was back to Kim as Kris Jenner dished on her dramatic labor.

Kris Jenner also shot down rumors that Kim Kardashian is in hiding under her orders so they can get raise the price of North’s first picture and laughed: “She’s free to go wherever she wants, Kim isn’t locked in the closet,” and said her daughter wouldn’t be marrying boyfriend Kanye West… in Egypt at least.

She helmed her titular hour on Fox 5 in the US with some degree of aplomb, and a very familiar narrative plot.

A black and white checked floor and spiral staircase mirroring Kris Jenner’s foyer makes her new studio instantly familiar, and of course, she was soon dishing on her famous family.

She kicked off the show by revealing the drama and secrets behind daughter Kim Kardashian’s dash to hospital on June 14 to deliver her baby daughter North five weeks early.

“How did you get Kim from home to hospital without anyone seeing?” co-host Cameron Mathison asked.

“There’s a little back story to that,” she said.

“I was doing Good Day LA, they had sent a limo for me to do it so I was offline as it’s live TV, I hate opening my Blackberry after that and then I’ve got an email from Kim marked <<urgent>>.

“For Father’s Day she had been planning this big thing for Kanye,” Kris Jenner explained.

“He’s obsessed with Apple so she wanted to get memorabilia but she had got nowhere, so she called Steve Wozniak and he said he’d bring her a mouse, drive it all the way down from San Francisco and meet Kanye for brunch.

“I thought the email was about that but when I opened it, it read: <<I have to have the baby today, get here today, fast>>.

“So I say to the limo driver, who I don’t know at all <<Sir can we make a pitstop?>> There’s 300 paps outside Kim’s house, the guy takes a detour and the paps start clicking away… the poor guy doesn’t know what’s going on.

“But we get Kim in the limo and I start trying to put the elaborate plan we had set in place for five weeks away with decoy cars and security, thinking how am I going to do this?

“I call my friend for decoy car, and the plan is we get to the hotel and switch cars.

“We go to the hotel, Kim’s under the blankets tapping away on her phone and I’m like, <<Who are you emailing?>>. <<I’m emailing Steve Wozniak>>, she said.

“<<Could we stop with the Woz!>> I told her, let’s go to the hospital!”

“We get to the hotel, and we’re so smooth but when Kim pops up, I see Steve Wozniak and his wife Janet standing in the foyer!”

“Kim then heads over like nothing’s wrong to chat to Steve and Janet, she’s acting like she’s at a cocktail party and I’m panicking.”

“Finally we get in the getaway car, and Kim lies down then yells <<Mom, hit the floor>> we’re in a Mini Coupe and there was no room, but I did it.”

“Then at the hospital, we hit the secret carpark, we head in through the secret elevator and through the kitchen and then we have a baby.”

“I went back on Father’s Day and guess who was in the room? Steve Wozniak.”

Kris Jenner didn’t go into detail about baby North West and after disappointing her audience with the baby double, told America that she wouldn’t be bringing her granddaughter onto the show.

“That would be kidnapping, I wouldn’t do it to Kim, just give her some time and peace and she’ll be out showing her off herself,” Kris Jenner continued.

Today’s Kris show was the beginning of six-week test run on America’s right-wing station, she was offered support from celebrity friends including Simon Cowell and chat show stalwart Regis Philbin in a series of short films throughout the hour.