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fear your abandoning you


If you fear your partner leaving you, it probably means you have what’s called an insecure attachment style. In relationships, we aren’t meant to have anxiety that our partner could leave us at any moment. Instead, we should feel secure enough in the relationship that this won’t happen, or we should feel secure enough with ourselves that even if they do leave – you’ll be okay.

You just scheduled with Black Tie Moving to help you move closer to your partner, but you’re starting to have serious doubts. You don’t want to be on edge about the future of the relationship. That’s perfectly understandable, but it’s important that you first acknowledge the cause of this fear. That’s why we’re offering 3 potential reasons you fear your partner abandoning you.

Unhealed Trauma

One of the main causes of fear of abandonment is unhealed trauma from your past. This is something that occurred before you and your partner even met, and it makes it feel impossible to fully trust them. You’ve been let down in the past, and you’ve carried that over into your current relationship. At some point, someone made you feel that you can’t rely on anyone to stay.

Unhealed trauma carries with it a lot of baggage. If we don’t take the time to acknowledge and grow from our trauma, it remains dormant – only rearing its ugly head when we develop issues with relationships later on in life. This is why it’s incredibly important to seek help from a mental health professional, so you can be free of your past and learn how to navigate relationships in a healthy way.

Unmet Needs in Childhood

Most of our patterns and behaviors in relationships stem from our childhood. If you had a childhood where you didn’t feel secure, it’s bound to make you feel insecure in your relationships. This is because, as children, we expect our parents to love us and validate our feelings. If your parents didn’t provide you with the care and attention you needed, you’ll find it difficult to trust others to do the same.

Childhood is a particularly vulnerable time. We lean on our parents for emotional support and to feel worthy of love. If our parents are disconnected from us, we subconsciously carry this with us throughout our lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean our parents did a bad job, it’s just that sometimes parents don’t know how to give us the love and attention we need. Unfortunately, this can lead to us fearing abandonment in romantic relationships later on in life.

Narcissistic Relationship

Sometimes we fear abandonment not because of our past, but because of our current relationship. Narcissistic relationships are notorious for causing a trauma bond which leads us to never feel safe in the relationship. This is because the narcissist uses manipulation tactics such as love bombing, lying, and gaslighting to distort our perception of them and of our reality.

Narcissistic relationships are incredibly harmful to our mental health, and they often lead to fear of your partner abandoning you. The narcissist will make you believe you’re worthy of love at the start of the relationship, and they will slowly start to withhold love from you. In turn, this causes confusion on your part, and you start to believe nobody else would want you but the narcissist. This is what causes a deep fear of them abandoning you.