Monique Houston, Whitney Houston’s former sister-in-law and ex-wife of Gary Houston, speaks out for the first time in an exclusive interview with Ebony.com about being shut out of the family and why the singer’s death was not a surprise for her.
Monique Houston said she is aware of the consequences and she made the mistake of speaking out years ago about what she said was a pattern of enabling within the Houston family. The result? She was cut off. Monique Houston was married to Gary Houston and the two share a son and daughter. But this time, Monique Houston says she will not be silent.
Like most people who’ve ever been affiliated with Whitney Houston and who have spoken out since the singer’s death, she says she wasn’t surprised at how her story played out. But the culprit, Monique Houston says, is that for years there’s been a pattern of enabling, and she hopes that by speaking out now, she’ll help save the next generation of the Houston clan.
EBONY: Why do you want to talk now?
Monique Houston: If it’s not now, when? I just really had to speak out about the cycle that has gone on for a number of years. Now is the time for me really to take this situation and speak about it. So that’s where I’m at now. I’ve really tried to shield my children. They’ve dealt with a lot over the years and I really try to shield them from a lot of negativity that would come their way, but now that they are adults and they’re as healthy as they can be under the circumstances, I think they’re prepared for what’s ahead and some of the realities.
EBONY: It sounds like you really weren’t all that shocked at how things unfortunately ended for your former sister-in-law, is that correct?
MH: No, I wasn’t shocked. I was caught off guard. You know, we all prayed that she would recover and …recovery with a drug addict is an ongoing process. But she just was so healthy and beautiful from the press that came out of Sparkle, that it just totally caught me off guard. I really was sitting back and looking forward to the movie actually coming out and what would happen for her with that. So I was really caught off guard, but unfortunately, I wasn’t surprised.
EBONY: When was the last time you’d actually spoken with her?
MH: Many years ago. I left right after her wedding to Bobby Brown. I left my husband around that time, and then I think I had Thanksgiving with her and Bobby and Mrs. [Cissy] Houston about a year or two after that. So that was one of the last times I had actual contact with her.
EBONY: What do you think the real issue was? You kind of say that the burden of being Whitney Houston is what ultimately killed your former sister-in-law. What do you mean about that, specifically?
MH: Well, it was a large image to live up to. I mean, the image they created for her was a part of who she was, but it wasn’t the whole person. And I feel that trying to live up to that perfect type of pop diva type of image they created for her was a lot of weight. Trying to live up to what everybody in her family wanted or needed from her was a huge responsibility for her also. And then the media just picked at her constantly and always questioned her lifestyle … I just feel like that was an awful lot of pressure.
EBONY: Did you ever talk with her about that pressure back when you all still had a relationship and were talking more frequently?
MH: We never talked about the pressure, per se, but anytime that she did have down time, you could really get a general sense that she cherished it. It was an awful lot to get out there and work. The road was very demanding and tiring and Whitney was really a homebody. I believe she did love to sing, but my opinion is the performance end of it and the rigors of that really took a toll on her as well.
EBONY: How about your children? I know that they’re older, but how are they handling it? And what have you said to them about it?
MH: It was really devastating. The first thing they did was basically to come home and withdraw a little bit. My son didn’t want to go to school—he’s finishing up at Morehouse. The conversation I have had with them has been the truth over the years. My ex-husband was arrested for drugs in North Carolina (when they were kids). So here I am as a parent trying to shield them and not have them watch TV and they go to school and somebody in the first grade says, ‘Your father was arrested for drugs; he’s a drug dealer.’ You know? Or they would come at them, ‘Oh, your aunt’s this or your aunt’s that.’ Over the years, I
had to always reassure them, and educate them, and be honest with them. I’ve always been honest with them about their father’s addiction. I had to also prepare them for the reality of what would be coming out in the press, as far as their aunt was concerned.
EBONY: Are you concerned about any backlash from the Houston family, talking about some of those issues now?
MH: Not really, because I’ve been through so much with them. I basically raised my kids on my own. I’ve had a lot of different issues with my ex-husband and his wife over the years. Mrs. Houston doesn’t speak to me after I did speak out publicly about six years ago about some of the issues that I was having. I also made comments on the “Being Bobby Brown” reality show. So the relationship between my kids and the Houstons has not been a straight line. Whatever relationship they choose to have with their family in the future … I don’t feel that I could negatively affect something that hasn’t been fluid to start with. I told my kids that they have had a lifetime to get to know my children and the door was always open for access. This information I’m revealing is kind of like ‘don’t kill the messenger.’ It’s hard to hear, and a lot of people don’t want to hear it, but it’s the truth. And sometimes the truth is painful.
EBONY: What are you hoping happens after this interview?
MH: Well my hope is for the next generation in the Houston family. I can’t really hold a lot of hope for the adults. I think a lot of the adults in the family have had a responsibility to have healthier relationships within the family and they haven’t. So I really would hope my kids and their cousins would be able to take some of the information and apply it to their lives and move forward. I hope Bobbi Kris can find a healthier lifestyle in the future. I don’t’ know what environment she is in, but that’s one reason why I came forward. I just felt like some of the denial and some of the covering, which is part of enabling, it has to stop now—not only for my children’s benefit but for her wellbeing going forward.
EBONY: You’ve expressed concern for Bobbi Kristina. Are you thinking she’s jumping into the business too soon?
MH: If this is what she wants, I believe in educating yourself or framing or studying your craft if that’s what she wants to do. I think that she does need some type of focus as far as something to do with her life and direction and I was really pleased that somebody like Tyler Perry did reach out to her. He would be an excellent mentor for her as far as some of the things he’s been through, how he’s come through and how he’s flourished. I think she could learn a lot from his story, as far as survival and recovery—that may help her. I just felt that the Oprah interview was just a little too soon, as far as timing.
EBONY: Do you have a relationship with Bobbi Kristina?
MH: No, I don’t. When I walked away, I walked away. I didn’t expect to have any continuing relationships, necessarily. I did have one with Mrs. Houston, but that fell apart. And the only thing I’ve wanted was that my children have those healthy relationships—which sometimes did not happen.
EBONY: Are they close with your ex-husband?
MH: Not at all. Not at all. That’s really, right now—in my opinion—a toxic relationship.
EBONY: What’s something you would love for the world to know about your former sister-in-law? What’s something that maybe wasn’t as obvious to the rest of us as was to you?
MH: She just had a great sense of humor and she loved to laugh. And you know, that’s the thing that I think about the most —when she was relaxed at home it was all a bunch of laughter and jokes and being silly—especially with her brothers, and her brother Michael. So that’s the biggest thing. She loved her nieces and her nephews. She loved having children around. When she would be backstage—either coming off stage or going on—when the kids were little, she liked to sit them on her lap, and I think that calmed her down a lot. So just the fun-loving person that she was. And one thing that I wish that she could have done was continue acting, and even have been in a comedy cause she just had that wit that a lot of people didn’t get to see.
I saw Pat’s interview with Oprah and some things stood out to me:
1. Pat’s room is normally on the same floor, but THIS time it wasn’t Why did Mrs. Patricia Houston get a room on another floor when they have had rooms on the same floor in the past?
2. Pat normally shows her face, but that day she didn’t
3. She normally answers Whitney’s calls, but that day she didn’t,why did’nt Ms. Patricia Houston go to see what Whitney wanted after she tried contacted her several times?Why did Pat say that she had not talked to Whitney all day or answered both of Whitney’s messages. Pat admitted this was not normal for her but did not offer any explanations of why.pat also states that she went out with whitney in her final days because she was concerned! really pat? and you told no one of your concerns? why so then ignore whitneys calls if you were so concerned?
4. She said she went out to get “something” for the party( I wish Oprah has asked her what).Why does Pat have to go shopping for anything…isn’t that a job her assistant could do? Pat said Whitney was preparing to do several things that day before the party like the infomercial. It makes absolutely no sense that her manager (Pat) was out shopping during the same time frame when her client/sister-in-law Whitney had so much to do! When Pat said she had not seen or spoken to Whitney before finding her dead
5. If Pat was upset with Whitney’s behaviour. Whitney was not only her sister-in-law and (alleged) best friend (Pat’s words, not Whitney’s) – Whitney was Pat’s employer!!! Do you honestly believe that an employee would purposely ignore her boss’ calls just because she is upset? If Pat didn’t answer Whitney’s calls out of sheer love for her as sister-in-law and BFF she should have answered her because she was a Nippy, Inc. employee..
6. Pat saw the makeup artist on her way back from getting something and told her to WAIT until she found out if Whitney was ready. WHY NOT JUST CALL WHITNEY AND ASK? she was already waiting for Pat’s call. Why go up and then what? Call down or go back down? Doesn’t sound realistic. not to mention that Pat later states that she saw the hairdresser on her knees when walking toward whitney room.
7. Pat said when she was headed towards Whiteny’s room She told someone ELSE to call 911 (why couldn’t she call while she was strolling along). pat says that a woman opened her door and asked pat was everything alright? instead of Pat responding with a mere im not certain she immediately ask this woman to dial 911. she heard (was Mary her name), Whitney’s assistant CRY out – Pat said she just kept walking slowly. She didn’t hurry towards Whitney’s room. How could she hold herself back from running to see what had happened???
8. Pat she saw Whitney’s hairdresser in tears on her knees on the floor of the hotel room in the hallway i take it near the room where whitney passed away Pat never addressed the hairdresser by asking whats wrong she just keeps walking on by the hairdresser.
9. Why did someone in Whtney’s room hang up twice when the first desk call to give CPR instructions
10. When Oprah asked where Whitney was found – Pat, instead of simply saying, “In the bathtub,” she inserted, “I don’t know how she got there,” …
11. Pat then reaches the room where she found her brother Ray trying to revive whitney, Pat told Ray, the bodyguard to stop trying. Why? How did Pat know that Whitney was too far gone.
12. Pat initially sounded like she felt sorrier for Ray than for Whitney.
13. Pat said that if she could bring back Whitney, she would just for her mother. Now, I found that statement very strange. Why not bring Whitney back just to bring her back
14. Why did Pat ask the lady to call 911 when she had not reach the room to see what happened?
15. Why had Pat defended Bobby Brown after all his abuse and running around on Whitney. And Whitney had credited Pat and family with standing by her during the divorce but Pat said she and Whitney had disagreements because Whitney thought she was always taking up for Bobby and Pat did not deny it. Why would she take up for him if she were really Whitney’s friend – and Pat knowing the way Bobby treated Whitney.
16. Why wasn’t Whitney other brother Michael and sister-law Donna part of the interveiw?
17. Pat’s response to the National Enquire photo was strange and why isn’t the family wanting to find who took the picture and sold it to the tabloids or where Whitney got the drugs from.
18. Boiling water to take a bath? I mean, how is Whitney FACE DOWN in the tub? That makes no sense.a good pathologist knows there are ways to detect if the deceased suffered a seizure or heart arrhythmia in completing autopsy, which did not occur in this case put they just went on speculation.
19. Soaked carpet in the bedroom and bathroom floor also water on the setting area carpet(water was shut off)
Why didn’t Monique Houston have Gary Houston put in jail for non-payment of child support.
Regina, I believe what you say it’s right and your intuition is correct. I’ve been thinking the same thing.
I don’t understand your point 16 and 19. Can you make them a bit clear? Thank you.