This week’s episode of Duck Dynasty starts with Si Robertson making a strange noise.
It turns out Uncle Si is blowing up an inflatable pillow, which is just one of the plethora of items he’s packing up to take with him on his trip to Virginia to see the birth of his grandchild.
As Jase Robertson remarks, Uncle Si looks like he’s packing to go to China for a month instead of a short trip a few states over. Si Robertson also apparently will be using the soothing sounds of whale songs for relaxation, and of course he can’t resist mimicking the beautiful creatures’ call in his own way. Soon enough, the whole warehouse is joining in, and that’s of course when Willie appears.
Willie Robertson takes it in stride, though, because he knows this is just one example of the thing he might be avoiding while Uncle Si is gone.
It’s the classic addition by subtraction method, and Willie Robertson figures Uncle Si’s absence will give him the chance to see just how counterproductive his uncle really is. That said, Willie is in no hurry to crack the whip right away.
Si Robertson is going to Virginia to see the birth of his grandchild
When Si Robertson is out the door he leisurely pulls up a chair and joins in the warehouse laze, tossing some Rolos he pilfered from Si to a waiting John Godwin. He’s just relaxing a bit before he has to take John Luke and Sadie to the dentist, where they both are getting their wisdom teeth taken out. He’s looking forward to seeing how wacky they act after being put under.
Jase Robertson comes in with this week’s crisis, a faulty freezer that has stopped working and let all the meat they’ve put in it from hunting season spoil. Their reactions to seeing the ruined carcasses and smelling the accompanying stench make for pretty good TV, although it can be bad if you’re one of those viewers who empathizes a little too much and can end up smelling it yourself. I’d advise just skipping that part then.
The queasy reactions continue at the dentist’s office, where Willie Robertson thinks he’s going to take advantage of Sadie’s wooziness by treating it like truth serum and asking her questions about her love life. But that all changes when he starts seeing all the bloody pieces of gauze and the genteel dentist ripping at his little girl’s mouth like he’s using the back of a hammer to pull out a nail.
As for the post-anesthetic wackiness, John Luke wins that contest by a Louisiana mile. The kid comes out of the surgery shaking his head around like Stevie Wonder and mumbling all sorts of nonsense, most of it pretty sassy. He even grabs the dentist’s spray gun and waters the office a little bit. Willie is enjoying his usually quiet son’s new personality, as is Korie, who eagerly records everything for purposes of future social embarrassment.
Jase and Jep Robertson are wretching while cleaning out the freezer until their father Phil makes a rare appearance at the warehouse looking for recruits to help him get rid of some cottonmouths on his property. Phil Robertson agrees to haul the rancid pile of meat in exchange for their help. The most convenient dumpster turns out to be the one at their church, but the guys are a little concerned about that No Dumping sign.
They end up punting on the idea and trying their luck at a Mexican restaurant, hoping to throw out their nasty payload with whatever the eatery is disposing of that day. They go inside and try to talk to the manager, but end up grabbing some chips and salsa and being serenaded by a mariachi band. Not sure how they could be hungry after being around all that fetid meat, but hey, the stomach wants what it wants.
After all that, though, the restaurant refuses to let them dump the meat. So off they go again, and Jase Robertson calls his brother Alan for reinforcement, asking if maybe they could dispose of it in his community’s dumpster. Alan Robertson suggests they go to the church instead. Phil has a laugh, but he stops laughing when he tells the camera that maybe Jase and Jep ought to walk home.
Miss Kay is seen at the house making a milkshake and singing.
At a makeshift court in the company warehouse, Si Robertson failed to make a single basket, despite using a trick shot called “the crane.”
Employee Justin Martin, meanwhile, was bonked by a basketball in a sensitive area and had to take a few minutes to recover. And despite having a new pair of shoes that looked like a cross between vintage Air Jordans and a pair of pogo sticks, Jep Robertson could not manage to sink a single shot.
“These shoes are for training, not for actual dunking in,” Jep Robertson explained after his humiliating display.
But the boys had bigger problems than their basketball skills: They discovered that the warehouse was infested with termites.
Wasting no time, the Robertsons called an exterminator, who promptly covered the entire Duck Commander warehouse with an enormous red and yellow striped tent.
“All of this for some little termites?” asked Jase Robertson.
“I ain’t takin’ no chances,” explained Willie Robertson.
“Anything living or crawling in there, I want to kill. Kill ‘em all.”
Since the boys were unable to work in the warehouse while the exterminator fogged the building, Willie Robertson sent the crew off to John Godwin’s house to work.
Not wanting to miss an opportunity to show off her “successful, good-looking, charming” son, Miss Kay instructs Willie Robertson to take the afternoon off so that he speak at her social club, the Golden ‘60s.
“When you’re the CEO, people look up to you,” Willie Robertson explained.
Duck Dynasty airs Wednesday nights on A&E
“They want to know the secrets to you your success.”
Dressed in a sharp white jacket, Willie arrived at the social club where he met his mother and half a dozen senior ladies.
Looking very uncomfortable, Willie asked Miss Kay if he should begin speaking to the group. Instead, he is ordered to “go get the lunch.”
“Go get the what?” asked Willie, confused.
“I’m not going to get the lunch. I’m speaking.”
Meanwhile, the Duck Commander crew were busy eating popsicles at John Godwin’s house – and occasionally assembling duck calls.
“Let me tell you about my crew,” explained Jase Robertson.
“We will work anywhere, anytime. But we are at our best when we have snacks and air conditioning, and no Willie.”
After finishing their popsicles, Uncle Si Robertson unwraps a package with John Godwin’s “inheritance” from his Uncle Ruben, a stuffed jackalope, which is allegedly “part rabbit and part deer.”
“Godwin, I’m telling you that’s worth some money,” Uncle Si said of the dead creature.
“Let’s go find us a taxidermist,” declared Jase Robertson.
With that, the boys head out to McGough’s Taxidermy get the furry figure appraised.
The dead animal emporium failed to impress Jase Robertson.
“Who gets excited about a building filled with stuffed animals?” he asked rhetorically.
“I certainly don’t. Animals should be eaten, not stuffed. The only animal I stuff is a turkey on Thanksgiving, sometimes Christmas.”
Sadly, John Godwin’s jackalope was appraised at only $50.
Eventually, John Godwin decided to keep his animal as-is and name him “Benjamin Bunny.”
This week’s episode of Duck Dynasty was all about helping each other out.
“One of the many perks of being in the Robertson clan is that if you need help–all you gotta do is ask for it,” Jase Robertson explained of his brothers, Uncle Si and coworker John Godwin pitching in to assist in building a new fishing dock.
“It’s a great system, but like any other system – there can be people who will abuse it.”
Jase Robertson was not-so-subtly referring to Uncle Si, who preferred to “supervise” the boys from dry land during the dock installation – all while sipping on his ever-present sweet tea.
“What’s the point of having family and friends if you can’t ask them for help every once in a while?” asked Si Robertson, somewhat rhetorically.
“You’re always asking for favors, but you never help out with any favors,” groused Willie Robertson.
“I never ask for no favors,” declared John Godwin.
“Yes, you have,” protested Willie Robertson.
“I absolutely never ask for a favor,” returned John Godwin.
Back at Duck Commander Headquarters, John Godwin made a random announcement: “I’m gonna get me a hot tub.”
“A hot tub,” Jase Robertson said, with obvious disgust.
“No self-respecting man would have a hot tub.”
“I would,” said his brother Willie with a slight smile.
“That’s my point,” returned Jase Robertson.
“The man wants a hot tub, he should get a hot tub,” reasoned Willie Robertson.
Since it was clear that John Godwin had his heart set on a hot tub, Willie Robertson fired up his laptop and started to search for one online.
“There’s some cool ones – about six grand,” Willie Robertson tells John Godwin.
“What’s your budget?”
This week’s episode of Duck Dynasty was all about helping each other out
“All’s I can spend is two hundred bucks,” said John Godwin, flatly.
With such a limited budget, Willie Robertson suggested that John Godwin purchase a used hot tub. John Godwin was fine with that, as long as it had speakers.
One of the Robertson brothers did not approve of John Godwin getting any kind of hot tub – with or without speakers.
“I just want to say something on the record,” said Jase Robertson.
“I am in protest of this. This whole thing is a bad idea. You’re going to get the measles from it. Blisters, skin rashes or hepatitis.”
“When it comes to germs, Jase is a walking contradiction,” noted Willie Robertson.
“He has no problem crawling through swamps and other disgusting, stagnant bodies of water. But just the mention of a manmade place with clean, animal-free water is enough to send him on a rant for a week.”
After much discussion, Si Robertson suggested that only place that might have a hot tub within John Godwin’s budget would be a place called Squirrel’s–yes, Squirrel’s–Junkyard.
“That’s actually not a bad idea, because all he has is crap,” laughed Willie Robertson.
Meanwhile, Phil and Miss Kay Robertson have a few of the grandkids over for the afternoon, who arrive to the Robertson property “fresh from the subdivision.”
Phil Robertson is determined to teach his grandchildren “patience and resourcefulness” by gathering mayhaw berries and turning them into jelly.
“Food,” lectured Phil Robertson.
“What if everything goes south, there are no chicken nuggets, there’s no big, tall Coca-Colas and fries – what then?”
“We would survive like the walking dead,” answered Willie Robertson’s grandson, John Luke.
That did not satisfy Phil Robertson, and he set out to teach the kids the finer points of mayhaw harvesting.
Back at Squirrel’s Junkyard, the boys have found a budget-appropriate – if disgusting – hot tub for John Godwin. They tow it back to John Godwin’s house, where he insisted that it be installed in the front yard so that he can “watch the cars go by.”
“What are you, a dog?” asked Willie Robertson.
John Godwin stands firm, determined that they install the hot tub in the front yard. The boys struggle to unload the hot tub off the truck, and it crashes to the ground with a thud.
“This board broke,” said John Godwin.
“That’s just cosmetic,” reassured Willie Robertson.
“That’s right,” conceded John Godwin.
“I’ll get the wood glue.”
After the “cosmetic” damage is fixed, John Godwin climbs into the hot tub.
“In all the years I’ve known Godwin, I’ve never seen him this happy,” observed Willie Robertson.
“He’s happier than a pig in mud – which is actually a fitting comparison when you consider how disgusting that water probably is.”
At the family dinner, the Robertsons gave thanks, and Willie Robertson noted: “Sometimes doing a favor a friend can be quick and easy, other times it means you’ll be spending all day at a stinkin’ junkyard. The point is, you can’t pick and choose how you help somebody. You just help them because they’ve been there to help you.”