The National Enquirer claims Angelina Jolie recently “told an astonished Brad that her former flame, Irish actor Colin Farrell, put him to shame between the sheets.”

“In a dig designed to push Brad Pitt’s buttons, Angelina Jolie insulted his manhood, and the devastated actor has gone on a drunken rampage!” declares the National Enquirer, an outlet whose reporting on the couple tends to alternate between despicable and nonsensical.

Her “sex confession” allegedly sent Brad Pitt into a “boozy tailspin,” allege sources for the Enquirer.

“Brad caught Angie red-handed, admitting that she thinks he’s a so-so lover,” says one insider for the facts-challenged tabloid.

The National Enquirer “source” continues: “Ever since then, he’s been on a drunken rampage – consuming copious amounts of his favorite beer and red wine.”

According to the magazine, Brad Pitt was “even spotted staggering up to a Taco Bell drive-thru window” at 1 a.m. last month, with an alleged “eyewitness” claiming the actor “looked drunk, and after he realized the fast-food joint was closed, he stumbled off into the early morning darkness.”

The National Enquirer claims Angelina Jolie told an astonished Brad Pitt that her former flame, Colin Farrell, put him to shame between the sheets

In any case, the tabloid insists that a booze-addled Brad Pitt has been on an extended bender ever since he allegedly first heard Angelina Jolie complaining about her sex life during a phone call with ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton.

“Angie told Billy Bob that her love life with Brad had gone cold, and she missed the wild, passionate sex she’d had with Colin,” says the Enquirer source.

The Enquirer goes on to explain how an enraged, eavesdropping Brad Pitt confronted Angelina Jolie and forced her to admit details of her supposed sex life with Colin Farrell, and that she still “lusts” for him, resulting in Pitt’s extended “drunken rage.”

The tabloid also claims that Brad Pitt is allegedly outraged over everything from Angelina Jolie’s eighth-grade “hookup” to her non-existent “plans to reunite” with Billy Bob Thornton.