June Shannon was unimpressed with partner Sugar Bear’s meager seduction technique in the premiere episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
Wanting to get a little “frisky”, Sugar Bear tried to woo Mama June with a small cream-filled cupcake on his birthday.
Unfortunately for him, June Shannon remained unmoved.
“A new crockpot, new deep fryer, might get you to first base,” she said.
“It takes a lot to turn this big mama on.”
“I need some quality alone time,” Mike Thompson said, after having packed June Shannon’s four children off to a babysitter.
“I really love June, she’s my woman.”
June Shannon, 33, finally gave in, telling her long term beau: “Just be quick.”
The family had celebrated Sugar Bear’s 41st birthday with deep fried pork chops and a Dukes of Hazzard-themed bash namely because it’s his favorite show.
Mike Thompson and the four girls – 7-year-old Alana aka Honey Boo Boo, Anna (Chickadee), 18, Lauryn (Pumpkin), 13, and 16-year-old Jessica (Chubbs) took it in turns to thrash a piñata shaped like a pair of Daisy Duke shorts.
It was an action packed double episode for the family from rural McIntyre Georgia beginning with Mama June daringly confiscating her daughter’s cell phones for not doing their chores.
Despite June Shannon’s hope that her girls could enjoy some family time without “electronics”, the girls decided to cover themselves in plastic wrap, pour cooking oil on the floor, grease themselves with butter and turn the house into a “Redneck Slip`n’ Slide – Extreme Home Edition”, according to Chubbs.
Unhappy at the mess her brood had made, June Shannon returned their cell phones, but not before ordering them to clean up.
“I would prefer my girls with phones rather than destroying my house,” she said.
The family bonded rather more over their love of road kill.
In a squeamish turn of events, the family heard a pig had been found dead nearby.
“We’re not really hunters in our family,” June Shannon told viewers about road kill finds.
“We bring it home, skin it, cook it, eat it, save money. That’s the way the cycle of life works in our family.”
“Roadkill is any animal that didn’t look before it crossed the road,” added an excited Honey Boo Boo, before the family decamped to hang the pig, skin it, and then make pork and beans from the trotters and the tail.
The girls were equally thrilled by a family outing to a wrestling match, where Chickadee was in her element.
“I like wrestling because of people fighting each other and they’re some good looking folks in there,” she said.
“I love it. It’s my heart. My soul.”
“I like wrestling because it’s all my family do,” added Honey Boo Boo.
A go-karting trip also went down well, despite larger than life Mama June getting stuck in her vehicle after crashing.
It took three track workers to pull her go-kart back in action “because I’m kind of voluptuous”, she said.
The final moments of the show previewed next week’s episode where Sugar Bear finally takes the plunge and proposes to June Shannon.
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