A Football Phobic’s Guide To Surviving The Season

All over the world, football fans are preparing themselves for the season’s drama with fevered anticipation. For those of us who don’t follow the beautiful game, however, it can be a gruelling chore especially if we have spouses, kids and friends for whom it’s absolutely everything. For men and women all over the planet who’d rather watch paint dry than invest ninety minutes (let alone a season’s viewing) in watching sports then it can create friction and even full blown arguments with football obsessed family members. Thus, we’ve created a guide to familial bliss throughout the football season that will prevent any of your family members from having to be shown the red card.

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Build personal investment

Most people love football because they’ve built a tribalistic connection to their favourite team. Sure, as they get older they may develop a technical appreciation for the skill, technical proficiency and strategy of the game but it all boils down to a primal “us vs them” mentality. This psychology is often forged at an early age and it can be virtually impossible to develop that kind of investment as an adult. Football likely has psychological associations with family, togetherness and a shared experience much like a pop concert or a live theatrical performance. While you may not be able to recreate this kind of investment for yourself there may be some ways to create investment. Place a bet at the start of the season to give yourself a vested interest (just be sure to bet responsibly). Even picking a team arbitrarily because you like the sound of their name or the colour of their kit can be a fun entry point.

Make football time YOU time

Many men and women take their football seriously as watching it allows them an opportunity to leave their troubles behind for an hour and a half and invest their attention completely in the game. So, why not afford yourself the same opportunity? Take some time to visit a friend, read a book, watch a film or play video games. Whichever way you prefer to unwind, you’ll feel much better when the match is over..

Create a trade off

For many of our partners, and especially children, it’s not enough to enjoy the football, they want to feel that we’re enjoying it too. Even if watching the game is boring or tortuous for you, then grin and bear it under the proviso that tomorrow the family can spend the same amount of time doing an activity of your choosing, whatever that may be.

And if you can’t beat them, join them

Most football fans are not made in front of the TV, they’re made in the stands. Even if you’re not a football fan, there’s a certain atmosphere around live football that should really be experienced by everyone, even those with no personal investment in the sport. Football fans are very often misrepresented as being aggressive, rude and violent. However the vast majority are friendly, approachable and passionate, creating a welcoming atmosphere that you may just appreciate.